All The Men Are Stupid

A couple of weeks ago I finally got to watch Crazy Stupid Love. No, there were no ladies in attendance. I actually wanted to watch the movie.

Shut up.

I generally stay away from "romantic comedies" because, well they are exercises in extreme fantasy that are faker than the flying kicks in your average kung-fu flicks. But somehow I still manage to watch those....but I digress. I simply don't identify at all with most of them hence their non-appeal.

My exceptions to date have been The Ugly Truth..which did in fact have a lot of ugly truths; and Hitch, one of my all time favorites.

Bite me.

No really, Hitch is like Cinderella for men. The fat nerd gets the princess. I mean what average shmuck would not root for this dude? And if you can't identify with the fat nerd, you can identify with the cool black guy lady killer. I'm not telling who I identified with, but I will say that I'm not teaching ANY guy how to "come in" 9/10ths of the way with MY mouth. OK?

Right then.

So this brings us to the topic du jour. I understand that Crazy Stupid Love is a comedy but the overtones of "the men are stupid" theme was just too much for me to bear. If feminists can bitch and complain about the portrayal of women in movies, then dammit I gotta stick up for the men.

Dammit.


So in the very beginning the tone is set when Steve Carell's wife decides to tell him that she slept with a co-worker and wants a divorce. All in one sitting. Steve being the "I have no balls" man as his character is, doesn't shout, scream or you know, leave her ass in the restaurant. No, he gets driven home by The Hussy...I mean, wife...who insists on continuing the conversation over Steve's objections. Does he tell her to "shut the fuck up?"like you know...any self respecting man who's been faithful would do? Noooooo...he calmly says "I really don't want to hear this" and then bails out of the moving car. Yes, the moving car.

Yes, I did laugh.


But seriously Steve? Your wife announces, in public, that she's fucking her coworker AND wants a divorce and YOU bail out the car?

From that point on I knew this was going to be a "the men are all stupid" kind of movie.


To add insult to injury, who gets thrown out the house? The cheating hussy? No, Steve the honest cubicle office man who's been crying in the bathroom where everybody can hear and who's been faithfully providing for his family.

What. The. Fuck?

I thought for SURE that there was some baby involved here. Some kind of rational explanation as to why The Hussy ought to have remained in the marriage home. Nope, the kids are way old enough to know mom is a ho and had to go. But I suppose the target market, clearly not me, would not have enjoyed watching the rest of the movie if The Hussy had to spend the rest of the movie trying to get back with Steve.

Anyway.

So Steve, now paying mortgage and rent I suppose, does the "loser in the bar" bit. I admit, I did the "loser in the bar bit" thing once. It's kind of hard to pull off when you don't actually drink alcohol, but....anyway, where was I? right..So he's at the bar where "The playboy" resides.


Of course The Playboy (tm) is the superficial "misogynist" who's entire life's goal is to bed as many women as possible, seeing how he's "won" the gender war. And of course he needs to meet the "right" woman who will make him see the errors of his ways and become more like Steve "I have no balls" Carell's character.

This guy informs Steve that his wife is fucking the co-worker because Steve has lost "it". Yes folks it is Steve's fault why his wife was fucking around. He was too boring. Remember that fellas. If you get boring you deserve what's coming to you.

*eye roll*

Then there is the neighbor. The father of the girl who babysits for Steve. He finds Steve at the bar where he whispers, WHISPERS that his wife has told him he can't socialize with Steve anymore.

What?

So to recap.. Steve's wife fucked the co-worker and announced it in a public place and asked for a divorce and Steve is the one to be shunned?

The fuck out of here.


So Steve's character, after a wardrobe change and a hefty bar bill (Side note: you folks actually spend THAT much on alcohol?), finally gets laid and proceeds to bed about 9 women. Remember this is a man...and I use the term lightly, who was just informed that his wife has been boinking the co-worker and wants a divorce. At a PTA meeting it comes out that he's had a few women and what does The Hussy do? She gets mad.

Excuse me?

How does the "I fucked the co-worker and now I want a divorce" wife have ANY say on who Steve fucked after getting that kind of news? How does she even have the RIGHT to be mad? Exactly HOW does that work?

Does Steve say "fuck you Mrs 'I fucked my co-worker'? Noooooooo...He's trying to apologize and shit.

What is this? Is this what women are watching on Lifetime TV? Are they actually thinking that this type of shit is acceptable? Is this the "new man" shit that's being promoted?

Fuck all that in it's entirety.

Do I need to even discuss the boy with the unhealthy fixation on the flat ass, flat chested babysitter? Do I? For the entire movie I was saying to myself...but she's not even THAT cute kid.

Back to The Hussy. After Steve has got his testicles off, the Hussy starts to "date" the co-worker she was fucking? Really? And invites him over? Really? Really? And during this "get together" the father of the "crush object" runs in on the assumption that Steve has been molesting his daughter. This because his wife, the one who apparently runs things in that house, presented him with a card with a "compromising" photo of the daughter and addressed to Steve.

Now you'd think that he'd first and foremost ask his daughter what the hell this is. Nope. Steve must be a molester.

*all kinds of sigh*

So the men don't think. They are two faced ('cause playboy is good for everything but your daughter), prone to violence and don't stand up for themselves. I guess this is what passes for good romantic comedies these days.

So there we have it. All the men are stupid.