Lessons From The UCSB Shooter's Video

The LA Times has posted a transcript of what is alleged to be the UCSB shooter's video describing his issues. I want to go over it with lessons for other young men who may feel the same way but who have not had a grown man sit him down and explain things to him.

"For the last eight years of my life, since I hit puberty, I've been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires, all because girls have never been attracted to me. Girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men, never to me. "I'm 22 years old and still a virgin, never even kissed a girl. And through college, 2 1/2 years, more than that actually, I'm still a virgin. It has been very torturous.

First. I was a virgin until way late into my senior year in university. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin. None. As a matter of fact there have been many times I wished I could go back and NOT have done it when I did. Yes, if you have a high sex drive, that shit can be tortuous. That is why there is a process called sublimation. Many important people in history redirected their sex drives to inventions and other endeavors that changed the world. My advice: If you can wait, wait.

Secondly, Unless you are a total troll with a completely fucked up face, there are women who are attracted to you. They may not be the ones you are fixated on (more on that later) but they are certainly there. I roll my eyes whenever I hear people tell me about how they "cannot find anyone" but have a gaggle of male (or female) friends who would make excellent partners for them. But we also have to be truthful to ourselves. We know what is considered attractive within our racial groups (assigned or dominant in the case of admixture). Take a serious assessment of your physical attractiveness. Attraction is not a choice. Attraction happens in a split second. If your face doesn't do it, something else is going to have to. Men have a benefit that is rarely extended to women: We can buy our way in....sometimes. You ever see a man with a woman that he has no business having on his arm? He got her because he made up for his unattractiveness by having something else to get and hold that woman's attention. If you are so situated you need to find out what your "other thing" is going to be. And no, being Mr. Nice guy who does any and everything a woman asks you to do, is not that "other thing".

Thirdly, nobody has "forced" this guy to endure anything. He forced himself for reasons explained and to be explained.

"College is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure. In those years I've had to rot in loneliness, it's not fair.

Dude! If you are thinking like this you need to stop right now because your priorities are totally fucked up. First of all, the purpose of going to college is to get an advanced education in as little time as possible. No one is paying x thousands of dollars a year to experience "sex and fun and pleasure". There are bars for that. There are parties for that. College is not, I repeat, is not your personal "can I get laid" adventure. Stop taking those movies so seriously.

"You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me but I will punish you all for it. It's an injustice, a crime because I don't know what you don't see in me, I'm the perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men instead of me, the supreme gentleman. I will punish all of you for it. [laughs]

"I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me.." This is the statement of a loser and someone who is unwilling to examine his own behavior (I repeat myself). If you are thinking like this, you need to work on stopping it. As stated before, attraction is not a choice. It either is there or it is not. The only thing you can do is put your best foot forward. But if you are walking around with this sorry "I don't know why nobody is attracted to me", then it shows in your actions. It shows in your walk. Your talk. How you dress. Everything. You ooze "loser" and women pick that up and it is NOT attractive at all. And you know who's fault that is? Yours. Not the women. And because it is not the women's fault, there is no reason to "punish" them for it.

Going back to the earlier comment, I am certain that this guy was fixated on a certain type of woman...

"On the day of retribution, I am going to enter the hottest sorority house at UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blond slut I see inside there. All those girls I've desired so much. They have all rejected me and looked down on me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance toward them, while they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes.

And here we have it. This fellow was stuck on blond, relatively wealthy sorority "girls" (detour: I detest the use of "girls" to describe mature females).

For all you fellows out there thinking the same thing: Simply because you desire blond, rich sorority "girls" does not mean that they desire you or even have to desire you. Women, sorority or not. Blond or not. Rich or not don't owe you anything but common decency and human respect. That is all.

Secondly, I agree, some of these young ladies (and some of the older ones) do have some very nasty habits when it comes to rejecting men they do not find attractive. But a man of confidence says a quick "and fuck you too" in his head (and if conditions warrant, out loud) and moves on. Why? Because a man of confidence does not get stuck on any woman.

Let me repeat that.

A man of confidence does not allow himself to be stuck on any woman. Look here. Half of the world's population is women. Half of your town's population are women. Half your city, state, etc. are women. That's hundreds, thousands or millions of women. Why the fuck would you get stuck on one, ten or hundred who don't want you? They are a drop in the bucket full of available women.

If a woman you wants prefers to throw her legs open for an "obnoxious brute" then either be an obnoxious brute (which I don't advise) or look for women who don't like obnoxious brutes (hint: they aren't "stuck up, spoiled, blond sluts").

"I take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you., You will finally see that I am, in truth, the superior one, the true alpha male. [laughs] Yes, after I have annihilated every single girl in the sorority house, I'll take to the streets of Isla Vista and slay every single person I see there. All those popular kids who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure while I've had to rot in loneliness all these years. They all look down upon me every time I tried to join them, they've all treated me like a mouse.

For all you guys out there that think because you got a gun and can spray bullets at defenseless women and men that it makes you some kind of "alpha male", get a grip. If you want to see what "alpha male" is really about then you can start by looking at nature. See, in nature, the alpha male has to physically fight his way to that position by having fair and equal (in terms of equipment) fights with the other males. None of that drive by punk bullshit. In human terms, if you wanna be the alpha male, you gotta compete on the same field and win. That's how you get alpha status. If you can't compete on looks, you compete in another arena. Guess what? There are many alpha males. They are in different areas. You find one that you can dominate. But the whole kill off people who are defenseless is the ultimate in "not deserving of breeding". And you do realize that if you fail to breed then by definition you cannot be an alpha male. So if you want to shoot up a sorority house and then die to prove "alpha" status, well, fail.

Let me also address this "rot in loneliness all these years" since it is a recurring theme. The average lifespan of a US male is 75 or so. If you are 22 you are not "all these years" In fact at 22 you've only been able to get it up and spurt some out for about 10 years (depending) and for 7 of those years you couldn't legally consent to get any anyway. Get some perspective. This goes for all you folks being bullied. Grow a pair and think long term. You are going to be on the planet for another 50 years unless you do something stupid or something happens totally beyond your control. School will be a distant memory when you hit 40. Sorority girls will be like dust in your eye that you discard without a care at 30. There are so many things you will be doing that these trivial, yes, trivial shits your obsessing over will be the source of much laughter.

"The popular kids, you never accepted me and now you will all pay for it. Girls, all I ever wanted was to love you, be loved by you. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted sex, love, affection, adoration.

Fellows: Stop seeking approval. I repeat: STOP. SEEKING. APPROVAL. I know, I know, people want to belong to a group. I get it. But just like this guy was fixated on the "blond sorority sluts", I guarantee he was also obsessed with a certain group of guys (likely the ones the "stuck up sorority blond sluts" liked) that he wanted to be in. It never, ever occurred to him to seek out other groups which he could and would have fit in with. When one obsesses over groups of people who don't necessarily want to associate with you, then it sets up a repeated cycle of rejection. This is why we learn to not to look for approval or to force ourselves onto people who don't like us. We form our own groups (or go solo) confident in our own value.

Furthermore, unlike the bullshit a lot of you young people are being taught by schools and certain political leaning groups, Nobody HAS to like you. Nobody HAS TO accept you into their social circle. And yeah, those people can and may talk shit about you, including how you look and what behaviors you engage in. You better get really comfortable with the idea that some people will simply hate your guts for no good reason. Deal with it.

I have a feeling that this fellow would likely have been a rapist. Fellas if you are thinking like this guy, I would SERIOUSLY reconsider how you view women. There is nothing wrong with wanting sex, love and affection. This is natural. But when the one you wish to deliver these things does not want to and you think that annihilating them is an appropriate response, you have serious problems. No one is obligated to give you sex. No one. Not everyone is going to love you. Deal with it. You're only going to get affection from so many people in your life so lower that expectation partner. And unless you are a rock star even less people are going to adore you "just because". Besides, if it's sex you're after, "adoration" is probably NOT the emotion you want to rise in a woman. Very few women I know talk of wanting to have sex with men they find "adorable". Adorable is for puppies not sexy men.

"You think I'm unworthy of you. That's I crime I can never get over. If I can't have you girls, I will destroy you. [laughs] You denied me a happy life and in turn I will deny all of you life, it's only fair. I hate all of you.

They think you're "unworthy" of them. Fuck 'em then. Seriously man. It's not a crime. It's not discrimination. It's nothing but how nature works. The "spoiled sorority blond sluts" don't want you. Hey great! Why do you want a spoiled woman? Why do you want a slut? No seriously. The crime here is obsessing over women who are likely not even GOOD for you.

Secondly, NOBODY and I mean NOBODY is responsible for your happiness. You are responsible for your happiness. You decided to walk around hating people who didn't even give you more than a second thought. What kind of idiot allows people who don't even care about them, live in their brain rent free? What kind of idiot sits and decides to end their lives over people who don't give 2 shits about them? Don't be that idiot.

"You forced me to suffer all my life, now I will make you all suffer. I waited a long time for this. I'll give you exactly what you deserve, all of you. All you girls who rejected me, looked down upon me, you know, treated me like scum while you gave yourselves to other men. And all of you men for living a better life than me, all of you sexually active men. I hate you. I hate all of you. I can't wait to give you exactly what you deserve, annihilation."

Jealousy is a dangerous thing. If you have that green monster (I do) you need to get a hold of him and put him under lock and key. Stop obsessing with people who you think are having a better life than you are. This is an opportunity to make the changes in your life to make you successful in the way you can be. Let me tell you man; I've seen people with girlfriends and wives and great lives who when I was young and dumb thought would be lonely bastards. Again, unless you are a total troll, there is someone out there for you and you probably already know her. Stop obsessing on women who do not want you. They don't have to. Stop obsessing on women who are not good for you and don't want you. They are doing you a great favor. Stop obsessing over "brutes" who have women throwing themselves at them. If they don't get a major STD then will likely have to pay a lot of their income on child and spousal support and have expensive and emotionally brutal divorces. And even if all that doesn't happen, guess what? It doesn't matter because it isn't important for you.

Spend your time worried about the women you DO want you. Ask yourself if you're the "snobby, stuck up, blond dude" who doesn't pay her any mind when she's a perfect match for you. Stop walking around thinking you are entitled to sex, love and affection from whatever woman you lay your eyes on. You are not so entitled. Take an honest assessment of yourself and be real. Are you socially awkward? GO out and learn how to loosen up. Dress like the creepy guy who jumps out the bushes? GO shopping and get some decent clothes. Do you smell? Take regular showers and invest in some smell goods. You walk with your head down all the time. Learn to walk with confidence. Are you afraid for your safety? Take up weight training and self defense courses, I guarantee your attitude will change.

I know a lot of you guys coming up don't have father's in the home. You need to seek out male roll models. Is there a guy out there that you admire? Pick his brain. Talk to him. A lot of us older fellows have a wealth of wisdom that we'd love to share, but we wont tel you unless you ask.