Lessons From Millionaire Matchmaker

Yes, I watch Millionaire Matchmaker. Judge me. Nothing like watching dudes fail at a date after watching dudes fail in the Octagon of Ultimate Fighter. Yeah. I watch MMA and Bravo TV. Contradiction. I know. Anyway. Last night's episode was chock full of lessons which I feel compelled to comment on.

First: From the Ultimate Fighter: NEVER. EVER. Drop your guard.

Second: If you watch the show you know that the female millionaire was a returnee who tried to buy the affections of a guy who clearly did not want her. What is her "problem"? Well she's obese. Not that it makes her a bad person. Not that it doesn't maker her not desirable by anyone. But it does mean that there are certain men she is unlikely to have express interest in her. This leads me to my first point:

Why is it that "obese" women who talk all day long about how they are a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman for those unfamiliar) and how they are "real women" because they have "curves" are apparently uninterested in BHM (Big Handsome Men)? Seriously. What is with this contradiction? In my own life I have been "hit on" by a number of women who I consider "obese" who don't give men their size the time of day (unless he has money...an entirely different conversation).

Mind you there are "chubby chasers" out there (I don't actually like the term). So it's not like these women cannot find men who like "all of this". It's simply that if you are a BBW, I think you have no business turning your nose up at BHMs.

So this chick picks a mesomorph of a man (that's a medium build to you non-science folks). He stands her up (which will be addressed later). Who shows up but the man she passed up who happened to be a BHM. Not a 10 by any means, but seriously most men are not 10s...or 8s or 7 for that matter so...

Not only does her face drop off a cliff when this guy shows up with not one but TWO bouquets, her body language was completely "fuck off" for most of the date. What is "fuck off" body language? Well if you must ask, if a woman keeps her distance from you. Doesn't touch you at all and turns her body from you, that is "fuck off" body language.

The poor guy was a "trooper" if you will and continued to be the "gentleman".

Then during dinner, he repeats what he did in the mixer where he basically offered himself as her slave.

"I'll take you to the mall." "I'll carry all your bags." "I'll fix your computer!" Basically everything she did to the last guy minus the "I'll buy your a Maserati".

He tell her how he finds her both mentally AND physically attractive.

Yes. He said that flat out. To her face.

She decides that she doesn't want to see him anymore. They never date again.

The fuck?

That was like a football player seeing the opposite team player drop the football 1 yard from the end zone and deciding "eh" I think we'll wait until it's our turn to receive.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Which brings me to the next lesson:

DUDES! Stop with that "I'll do anything for you" bullshit.

A large proportion of women will see you as a mat and will be turned off by it.

Most women do NOT want a man they can just walk all over and get their way all the time.

Stop that shit.

Read the body language. giggling is easy to fake. Interest is easy to fake. Very few people can actually fake body language. Pay attention.

Next: I want to give credit to ol' girl for cutting dude off. It may seem cruel but it was the right thing to do. He would have been HAPPY as fuck to take her everywhere and be her man-slave. She could have taken advantage of his interest for her own ego. She did not. That was a great thing she did. Kudos.

Now we have to deal with Patty.

I don't know how much of that show is scripted and how much is "real". But Patty made a huge mistake last night. Fistly she was willing to comment that the guy millionaire was picking women "out of his league". She should have said the SAME thing to the woman. She needed to tell ol' girl that these buff guys that she likes are highly unlikely to be interested in her sexually. That SHE was picking men waaaaaaay out of her league.

This is why ol' girl was stood up. Did Patty ask all the men whether they were interested in BBWs? That would and should have been question number O.N.E.

it was so hard to watch this guy treat this woman better than anyone has probably ever treated her before and get shot down. But it simply underscores what I have told many a young man:

Don't do that shit. If she clearly does not want you "like that". Bid her a good night and lose her number and e-mail. You'll thank me when you ARE with someone who is worthy of your efforts.