Too Busy For A Relationship

Ever heard that one? Ever said that one?

It's highly likely that the person who said it was lying. Yes, that includes you if you said it. Let me explain.

One of my favorite movies is Hitch. Yeah. Hitch. Judge me. The movie opener has this gem: "If she says something like "I'm too busy for a relationship." It either means "try harder" or "get away from me now."

Well I'm paraphrasing. But it's true. Really.

Think about it. Have you ever asked someone who threw that line at you exactly what they were busy doing?

Probably not. Probably because it would seem pushy or desperate. But think about it. It's a legitimate question. Exactly how busy do you have to be to not have "time" for a relationship?

In actuality such a statement reveals a lot about the person who is saying it.

Think about married people. Marriage is a relationship, no? Do married couples say to each other. Well for the next 5 weeks I am waaaaay too busy to be married so we're not married for that time.

Sounds dumb doesn't it? That's the point.

Relationships change in dynamics all the time. You don't STOP having a "relationship" because you're busy, you change the dynamics of a relationship if you are busy.

Therefore it is highly likely that if they aren't telling the truth, that they are in fact too busy for a relationship, as in quarantined in a space capsule for a month or so, they are telling you:

1) They don't like you. Don't want to like you and don't want to "hurt your feelings" by not simply saying, "eh, you don't do it for me."

Or

2) They have no clue what a "relationship" is. In which case they have probably done you a favor.

Think about it what do you "need" for a relationship. Yuu need some mutual affection and to spend quality time together. Notice I said "quality" not "quantity".

If you have time for dinner (in or out). If you have time to work out. If you have time to go to a movie. If you have time for a walk in the park. If you have time for any of that AND time for a fuck buddy. then you, my friend have time for a relationship.

What you may not have time for is a "always up under each other" relationship. But check it. Not only is that not the only form of a relationship it is probably not a good relationship. Seriously. Folks who are always up under each other are probably covering up issues that they have to face when alone. whether it be loneliness, insecurity (can't let them out of sight 'cause they might cheat), etc.

So the next time someone says "I don't have time for a relationship" ask them what makes them so busy? They'll probably be taken aback but you'll know if you're being bullshitted.